The Critter completed Day 3 of camp yesterday. It involved an injured bird, loss of virtual reality privileges and hate speech, which apparently is all pretty typical middle school boy stuff, particularly the hate speech these days. So, interesting tidbit - while VT is very liberal and open and welcoming, almost everyone here looks a lot the same, at least in the two towns we've frequented thus far. This means that when The Critter came home yesterday and told me about how one of the kids went off on a rant about minorities that included all the differences possible, I was a little surprised thinking we were seeing that uptick only in areas that were not bastions of liberal thought and appreciation for differences. I should not have been surprised though, I guess.
If you also have a kiddo who chomps down historical political cartoons, historical documentaries, listens to NPR for fun, you may have also needed to have a talk with them about how to disagree about heated politics and even revisionist history lately. Since this was not our first rodeo with The Critter being intolerant of intolerance, we were able to simply review the steps to avoid reaching a point where he really just wants to hit someone. Mind you, violence is never the answer, but these are middle school boys, and scuffles can come with the territory despite our enlightened times.
Step One - ADMIT that the Size of the Problem(THANK YOU to Social Thinking curriculum https://www.facebook.com/socialthinking/videos/10153385670211441/) when encountering dumbass hate speech is bigger than just YOU This has been the place where The Critter tends to get stuck as he feels like his knowledge and intellect should be able to forcibly persuade the other person or persons to see the error in their way of thinking and just say, "Wow! You're right! The information and emotions towards minorities I've been given in this life thus far is just wrong, and I suddenly feel a kinship with everyone." You can see how this thought process is likely an error for anyone, let alone a 12yr old
Step Two(assumes The Critter is successful with Step One, which has yet to occur) - Find an adult whom you believe will agree with you. This should be super easy here in VT and still easy in our public school and yet..... If you cannot see an adult you trust with this, go find your case manager - now! This is to prevent the emotional reaction to the dumbass hate speech from getting the better of The Critter.
Step Three - In the future, discuss 12yr old topics like videogames or football teams or math homework and NOT global historical politics and our roles in fostering equity with these kids
It's pretty understandable how the injured bird and loss of privileges due to obscene drawings and swearing by The Critter and others got second billing on Day 3....
It is days like this that make me wonder...
Is it really The Critter that is emotionally behind or is it all the other 12yr olds?? Certainly, he is behind his cognitive ability, but is "joining or ignoring" stuff like this really an approach I want to foster just so this exceptional critter isn't the exception in the FU world of 12yr old boys??
Like most days, more questions than answers....
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